Chapter 1

He was doodling something mindlessly trying to zone out everyone around him, every little sound or noise, every word, cough and a damn sniffle. The little ladybugs seemed to come to life, crawling around on the bright pink post-it, their movements becoming a blur as they stirred.

Oh great, on top of everything he was getting blind. What a day. What a week… A month. Actually, a couple of years... 

He was so tired. Exhausted beyond description. He hadn’t slept properly in months and hadn’t eaten more than a few cookies and a mouthful of chips a day for longer than he was willing to admit.

In fact, if it hadn’t been for his mother, he would have probably been dead by now.

She was the sweetest lady and had been, hands down, his rock throughout this entire dreadful ordeal but Katherine was not playing around when it came to her son’s wellbeing.

When all came to a head and he was dehydrated and wasting away, she would force-feed him and would include various methods that strongly resembled waterboarding. Just like that, no ifs, no buts.

No, there was no complaining about his mother. She was perfect and just thinking about everything he had already put her through made his stomach turn.

‘The Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as his child.’ She would often tell him…

Katherine truly seemed too saint for this world.

It was an early afternoon of something that could have been a beautiful, sunny day but he still had a couple of hours before he could go home and unwind at least a little bit. Every day he would come back to the ranch, change and go play with his kids going above and beyond trying to keep them safe from all the media circus. They were so small and innocent, and he swore he would die if they found out there was a good chance their daddy might end up in jail soon, leaving them all alone in this cold and unfair world.

And so every afternoon they would engage in Go Fish, Uno or Battleships, they would play hide and seek, or simply do anything he could think of to create their little cocoon of safety and tranquility. And God knew he needed it as much as they did.

All those dark scenarios filling up his head about ending up in jail and not being there for his children made his stomach drop again.

Just perfect… he was hoping to save all his panic attacks for when he was alone but maybe his body had a different idea this time. But what did it matter anymore?? Why the hell not?? He could show all the people in the room he was even more pathetic than they had already thought!

‘Sit back, relax and watch this freak break down, cry and go nuts! It’s going to be a sight to see!!’

Sneddon would definitely enjoy the show.

Michael stopped doodling and looked up. The judge seemed less than intrigued in whatever Chris was talking about on the witness stand and so did some of the members of the jury. People who had his life in their hands. Had him by the balls. Yet, he could see some of them almost dozing off while others seemed to be doodling something as well.

Did their ladybugs look better than his? No way, he had perfected them over the course of the last couple of months – big ones, small ones… seven spots, three spots… you name it.

Oh, who the hell cared? They could draw the ugliest ladybugs in the world and still go home at the end of the day while he could be taken to prison in handcuffs and put behind the bars for the whole world to watch.

Yes, it was his ass that was on the line, not anyone else’s.

A minute later Tom finished the cross examination and moved back to his seat, which only meant one thing. Michael took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. His head spun and he swallowed hard to tamp down the burning bile rising in his throat. Breathing started to be difficult and the air felt thick and stifling all of a sudden.

Time for that one last witness…

Then the trial would be over.

His ears were buzzing, his head spinning as if he had just chugged an entire bottle of wine. Only he hadn’t. He was sober… minus a little chill pill here and there.

Speaking of, maybe it was time for another of his “bathroom breaks” he needed every now and then during the day.

“No, you got this!!”

It was just his stupid body reacting to all the stress and back pain mixed with the debilitating heartache he was feeling deep inside. All the people he had trusted who betrayed him. The world that betrayed him.

With each breath, his chest seemed to deflate, as if the weight of the world was pressing down upon him. His palms were sweaty and he swiftly put them in his lap while staring blankly at some files and papers placed in front of him while he felt himself shake his head imperceptibly … Tom was crazy to have come up with this cockamamie idea.

She hated him.

They hadn’t spoken in years but even if they had, he was sure it would have ended up in a screaming match filled with tears, four-letter words and smashed phones. There were a lot of things they were good at but quite honestly, communication was never one of them.

“You never cared for me at all!! If you had, we wouldn’t be at this dead-end road now, Michael! All I did was love you and take care of you and what did I get in return? You fucking me over, icing me out, not taking my calls and being unavailable when I needed you the most. I hate you for messing up my life like that!”

Oh, okay… there it was. He remembered. She really did say she hated him… the day before he found out she had filed for divorce.

They had argued, she cried, told him how much she hated him, then changed her tune and begged him to give her another chance. Then, the next day his attorney called with some mind-boggling news.

And he had felt like choking her.

They hadn’t talked for a while but as time went on, they started indulging in their fair share of further encounters even after the D-day… getting back together and breaking up… but at some point, those encounters ended too. Followed by absolutely zero contact, the cold silence becoming a harsh mistress whose icy embrace was his only companion during the sleepless nights - until he started seeking comfort in the arms of other women, trying to erase all memories of his ex-wife.

What a grand ending to what was once a beautiful love story. Or at least he had thought what they had was a beautiful love story before it all went to hell in a handbasket.

At one point of his life he had trusted her completely. More than anyone else. He had let her walk him through all the thick and scary secluded places he felt engulfed with, hoping she would steer him clear of any danger.

What a wide-eyed idiot he had been.

Since their last break-up there had been times when he might have actually missed her but, in all honesty, he hardly ever had time for such feelings. It had taken him some time but eventually he licked his wounds and bounced back, he had always been a busy guy and his career was what mattered at the time. Or so he had been told constantly by the people around him.

Then fires to put out appeared. Sony. Deb. Bashir. And in the end that one family that decided to blow him out of the water…

And even though there was no doubt that what he had felt for her back in the day was undiluted and crazy love, they had clearly failed to understand that love alone wasn't enough to overcome all the challenges they faced.

His whole body jerked when he heard the sound of high heels behind him and he deliberately had to stop himself from turning and looking at her.

Lisa.

His breath hitched in his throat but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her even when she walked all the way to the front of the courtroom and stood there, almost right in front of him. He heard her being sworn in by the clerk and a minute later he could tell she already started making her way over to the witness stand, yet his eyes stayed fixated on the little coffee stain right in front of him just to play things close to the vest, so to speak.

That… That was her chance. She could double-cross him so easily now. He loaded the gun and handed it to her, like a complete fool.

‘You still hate me, Lisa? Cool, show me how much.’

All she needed to do was to make up a teeny tiny lie, say their marriage had been a scam, say it had been a publicity stunt to help his career. That was all it would take, and he would likely be finished for good.

It would prove the prosecution right, confirming that he had never truly been interested in women after all.

And the really funny part??! She didn’t even need to go an extra mile and get too creative while making up the lies, they all had already been written in the tabloid over the years. Just reach out and grab one!

 

Jackson and Presley wedding is the joke of the decade!

Bizarre PR stunt, bizarre honeymooners.

You’re not foolin’ anybody! Marrying won’t save you, Wacko!

And his personal ‘favorite’.

Is he Bad? Is he Dangerous?! More like ridiculous!

 

But would she really do it? Did she still hate him that much even after all those years?

Tom wasn’t an idiot, he had to make sure it wouldn’t blow in his face.

‘There are no guarantees in the courtroom, Michael.’  People would tell him and he knew damn well it was true.

Take Deb, for instance… everyone saw what she had done on the stand. It was fun watching Sneddon get all pale, sweaty and more and more horrified by all the glowing things she had been saying about their marriage and their children, and about what she called, her  Michael. But Lisa could now pull the same trick. Only this time it would be the ultimate revenge, she could go right for the jugular, destroy him and never look back.

“Miss Presley, how are you today?” He heard Tom ask his ex-wife in an elated voice and scoffed, covering it by clearing his throat quickly.

When the trial had started he had made a conscious decision to always look indifferent towards all the drama and all the lies in the courtroom. He was resolved not to show any emotions and he had lived up to that promise. There was no way he would want to change that now, with the very last witness on the stand.

However, if there was one thing out of his control, it was how hearing her voice was going to affect him, even after all those years.

“I’m very well, thank you.” She replied and her deep, husky voice sliced right through him the very second it reached his ears.

Michael had to close his eyes again. A tidal wave of memories and flashbacks ran through him and he took a deep breath to calm himself down again. He remained motionless, afraid that meeting her gaze might turn him to stone.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you a couple of questions today.”

If Tom had miscalculated, thinking Lisa was just a sweet, harmless woman rushing in to help, and gave her carte blanche to destroy him, Michael swore to himself he would not pay him a dime — or something equally cruel.

“Yeah, that would serve him right, you dumbass!”

“Of course.” Lisa replied.

“Okay, here we go…”

He took a deep breath, noticing his fists were clenched in frustrated desperation.

“Jackson?  The worst person on this planet! The marriage must have been a scam because he never cared about me at all! We barely even lived together! I could easily believe everything that has been said in this room over the course of the last couple of months…”

Michael’s head started spinning again. He just couldn’t take it anymore. Why? Why did all this have to happen to him? After everything he had done for the world. For his fans. He had given so much love and energy to make the world a better place and how did it repay him? Accusing him of the worst crimes imaginable, making him suffer through this awful trial, making him listen to his mother cry quietly during several testimonies. Why would they do it to him?? He wanted to scream, run, disappear…

Once again he felt like a ship caught in a violent storm with its sails torn, desperate to escape the relentless fury of the sea… and he hated being so powerless against all the evil he felt surrounded by.

Gosh, he really needed to calm down and make it through the rest of the day. Soon, he would be home hanging out with his kids and hopefully finding at least some measure of peace.

“Get a grip, you wimp. Nobody is interested in your boo-boos.”

Interesting… a new voice in his head. Did this one sound like Joseph?

Michael sat there frozen, his shoulders slumped and his fingers trembling with a restless energy born of all the frustration and helplessness.

While his mind wandered creating all those disastrous scenarios, he forgot to stop himself and at some point he did in fact look up inadvertently and saw her face for the first time. His breath caught in his throat.

There she was … looking … well, just stunning.

Her hair was longer and lighter than he remembered and she had it tied in a loose side braid that made her look much younger. She wore light make-up, soft pink lipstick and something that looked like a simple, elegant black dress.  His eyes slid down from her face to her slender neck and he noticed something he hadn’t seen in a very, very long time.

She wore her diamond infinity necklace… delicate and beautiful. Meaningful. And heartbreaking…

 

… his fingers brushed the pendant absent-mindedly while examining it closely.

“Very pretty…” He mumbled and she smiled.

“Yeah, one of my favorites.”

“Do you believe in infinity, Lisa?” He asked looking up at her face illuminated by the moonlight while his fingers still played with the tiny diamonds on her neck. Her tears had already dried and he couldn’t be happier to see her smile again. “Do you think souls can live infinitely?”

“I hope so…” She said, her voice turning into a whisper. Her eyes met his and their faces were dangerously close now. He really needed to pull away right that moment… She was married. Taken. Had two wonderful kids. And he was sorta-kinda married too. To his job, his career… his fans. He really couldn’t allow himself the luxury of any distractions now even if they came in a form of a beautiful twenty-something year old with pouty lips, beautiful hooded eyes and a body to die for.

And yet, there he was, playing with fire, pushing the envelope…

He felt like a fragile paper airplane launched from the edge of a cliff soaring into the unknown expanse below, not knowing whether each gust of wind would make him gracefully glide to new heights or plummet into the abyss below.  

He saw her shiver slightly from the night breeze and, against his better judgment, took her hands in his.

“Are you cold? Do you want to come inside?” He offered, part of him hoping she would just nod, say she was tired and would disappear in the guestroom he had prepared for her earlier. Then he would go and hole up in the library, read a book and listen to some classical music before heading to bed still wired and very much awake. He would toss and turn for the rest of the night, his mind reeling and then he would hopefully fall asleep at noon if he was lucky. Wash, rinse, repeat… That was how he was used to living his life those days.

No such luck, though… he saw her shake her head.

Damn.

“No, the wind feels nice… it’s such a beautiful night.” She said and smiled at him and he feared that the smile could melt all icebergs in the world and cause an immediate climate catastrophe or even worse - just turn his life upside down if he wasn’t careful. “It’s so peaceful here, I can see why you chose this place, Mike. So serene and yet so wild.” She looked around and he felt her withdraw her small hands from his.

Michael sighed at the loss of contact but before he knew it Lisa took his hand again and intertwined her fingers with his this time, using her soft fingertips of her other hand to draw lazy, invisible patterns on his wrist. About a million butterflies fluttered around in his stomach and he cleared his throat.

“Lisa…” He croaked, his voice betraying him the moment he said her name.

“Yes?” She asked innocently… so much so that for a second he started believing it was absolutely fine and justified for a married woman to leave her children at her mother’s place for the night and drive for a couple of hours to hang out with, um… a friend? Is that what he was to her? A buddy? Or a sympathetic ear, perhaps?

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” He said in a low voice, his eyes looking anywhere but at her now.

“Doing what? We’re just talking, Michael.” She smiled.

Oh, she was good at this.

Maybe she was just using him to get back at her husband. Earlier that night she had confessed they had been arguing and she needed to get out of the house. Claimed she didn’t know where else to go. Who else to talk to.

Perhaps her master plan was to piss off her hubby by leaving for the night but he would find her guest room empty first thing in the morning.

 ‘Thanks for everything, time for me to go back to Danny. Take care.’

And Michael honestly worried a note like that might feel like a knife in his heart… no, he couldn’t let anyone have that power over him. He was a free agent and there was no way he would want that to change. Ever. Okay, maybe one day… but not anytime soon.

“Is that so? Just talking?” He asked almost helplessly while he studied her face.

Lisa chuckled and squeezed his hand. “What do you think we’re doing then? Playing minigolf? Herding sheep?”

Her eyes were laughing at him and he couldn’t help but smile as well. He paused for a second and then sighed rather dramatically. “I guess you’re right.”

Michael leaned against the tree and closed his eyes. They were still holding hands and he listened to the soft and beautiful sounds of the night… cicadas, owls and the light breeze blowing, making the leaves of his beloved tree rustle above his head. They had been sitting there for good two hours now…

Earlier that night she had come to him crying, telling him how her marriage was over, how she and her husband didn’t get along anymore, how much she wanted out. Apologizing for coming over and bugging him with her problems.

And he listened and listened, tried to say something supportive here and there but it wasn’t like he knew all that much about relationships, let alone marriages. He had his heart broken a couple of times before, just because he had fallen for a few women like a fool while they couldn’t care less about him. Unavailable. Unattainable. Cold.

And so he made a promise to himself not to get in a position like that ever again. No woman would ever have any power over him, would make him feel miserable, would make him grovel.

Lisa eventually calmed down after a bag of tissues and two vodka-sodas and the conversation slowly turned lighter. They went on talking about books and movies, people they both knew and soon they were laughing and joking into the wee hours of the night.

“Trust me, it would look different, if we weren’t just talking.” She said mischievously and the line made him open his eyes and look at her again.

His brain was yelling at him to get up, make some kind of a dumb excuse, wish her goodnight and get the hell out of there. However, instead he turned his head and gave her a quizzical look raising his eyebrows.

Lisa grinned at him and let go of his hand only to run her fingers slowly along his jaw this time, looking into his eyes.

Dangerous territory… His inner voice was in overdrive now, telling him to grab her hand and stop her but it was too late.

He was looking deep into her eyes when she cradled his face between her hands ever so gently.

“I think it might look like… say… this…” She added and he slowly closed his eyes relinquishing all control. The moment their lips touched for the very first time he felt himself shiver uncontrollably. It wasn’t like anything he had ever felt before, the butterflies already fluttering around in his stomach from when she held his hand now turning into electric ones sending jolts through his whole body. Though the kiss was hesitant and soft, slow and restrained, he found it hard to keep his breathing steady.

And it must have had a similar effect on her, he thought. Their lips were only lightly brushing when Lisa moaned, moved closer to him and deepened the kiss.

“Lise, we can’t...” He let out weakly and shifted uneasily, a subtle attempt to create physical distance from what was going on.

“Yes, we can... trust me, Michael. Please.” He heard her say in between the soft kisses and instead of pulling back, his brain short-circuited completely and he ran his hand through her hair while his tongue brushed against her lips making her deepen the kiss. There was no going back.

She opened her mouth and moaned again, melting into him and sending shivers down his spine. The kiss became frantic and passionate and he knew it was impossible to stop now…

 

He jerked and snapped back into reality when Susan, his other lawyer sitting right next to him, dropped a pen and bent down to get it from the floor. 

What was going on? He must have spaced out for a good couple of minutes! Had Lisa already thrown him under the bus?

He quickly looked at Tom to search his expression but he looked as stoic as always. Tall, strong, dignified… and with a soft smile on his lips. Immediately he turned to look at Lisa. She was taking a sip from her glass, looking at Tom and appeared to be waiting for him to ask her another question.

There was no excited mumbling, no whispers, the courtroom was quiet as usual. Seemed like she must have been taking her sweet time before she would go in for the kill.

“Miss Presley. There have been allegations made by the media over the years as well as by the prosecution here in this courtroom doubting the genuineness of your marriage to Mr. Jackson. Can you tell us if these claims are true?”

‘Oh okay, there we go.’

The memories of their first kiss had sidetracked him just enough to make him forget completely where he was and what was happening around him. Maybe he could use this skill soon…

… it could come in handy during the endless nights in his cell while choking back on tears.

And damn, the marriage had genuinely been real, despite everything!!

He knew it.

She knew it.

People close to them knew it.

But the rest of the world saw it as a sham, a big, fat lie.

At the time Michael didn’t really care, he was married to the girl he loved to the moon and back and just couldn’t care less about what people were whispering behind his back.

But it seemed like the whole world had an idea right from the get-go. Nobody said “Oh, that’s nice, hope you guys will be very happy…” No. Over night he and Lisa turned into the butt of a joke filling up all the magazines and late night shows.

So much pressure.

How could anyone make it out alive?

And so over the time they started struggling real hard. He had hurt her one too many times and she had hurt him back, and their love suffered one punch in the guts after another until it all became broken beyond repair and they decided to part ways.

And so finally the public got what they had been waiting for. Divorce!

The first tabloid headline resembling the first raindrop after a long drought, eagerly anticipated and welcomed with open arms by parched, miserable souls waiting for someone else's failure.

‘Okay, Lisa. Let’s just get it over with! Say what you have to say and leave this ghastly building with a shit-eating grin on your face, letting Sneddon bask in his oncoming victory.’

His throat went dry.

“Absolutely not.” He heard her say and his eyes immediately flew up to search hers.

“So it was a real marriage, that’s what you’re saying, right?” Tom added and Michael saw her nodding.

“Yes. Michael and I married out of love.” She added and shifted in her chair turning her head slightly and looking back at him for the very first time that day.

Their eyes met and time seemed to have stopped. She didn’t smile and neither did he but they were looking into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. Michael tried hard to read her expression and what he saw in her eyes was, to his surprise, neither anger nor hate, it seemed to have been something else completely… was it … compassion?

No, that was not it.

Love?

‘Don’t be an idiot.’

No, no… it wasn’t love either.

He gulped down some air and froze in place before looking away from her quickly.

Suddenly he figured out what he saw in those beautiful, hooded, blue eyes and his realization was like a crack appearing in a mirror, shattering the illusion he had created for himself and revealing the jagged truth beneath. He felt his heart hammer in his chest furiously.

It was… pity. That’s what he had seen there. Pure and undiluted pity she was feeling for this loser sitting there wearing his fancy clothes and shiny accessories that tried to hide the empty, hollow, walking corpse he had turned into over the last months or maybe even years.

He should have been elated and thankful that she didn’t seem interested in putting him through the wringer this time.

She said the marriage had been real. That was all Tom had claimed they needed but Michael was now more shocked than anything by how the emotions he had read in her eyes made him actually feel. He looked at his hands resting in his lap and noticed they were shaking again.

“You were in love with Mr. Jackson when you got married?” Tom asked, making sure the somewhat repeated question and the answer to it made its impact.

“Yes, I was.” She replied and cleared her throat. “Very much so.”

“Was he in love with you when you got married?”

He felt her searching his eyes again but this time he couldn’t bring himself to look back at her. Too painful all of a sudden. What was going on with him??

“I…I believe so.”

He closed his eyes slowly and dug his nails into the fabric of his pants to release some of the built-up tension he was suddenly feeling.

Of course he had loved her! Why would she ever think otherwise?

 

“Take it back, you little shit!!” He laughed heartily and moved swiftly on top of her holding her down.

“Never!” She was laughing so hard now her whole naked body was shaking against his wildly.

“I’m not letting you go until you take it back, apologize and promise nothing like that will leave your dirty little mouth again.” He laughed and held her wrists with just one hand, his other hand moving down to tickle her side.

“Stop!!” She let out still laughing like a maniac. “I stand by what I said and it’s your problem you can’t handle the truth!”

They were in Michael’s library at Neverland, naked, after a number of rounds of sex, champagne and strawberries, lying on a soft, furry, white rug in front of the fire, their lower bodies covered with a quilt.

Once again she had flown the coop and came to see him, at that point it had become a habit. What was her husband really thinking she was doing? How stupid could that guy be?

Michael loved his nights with her almost as much as he hated the mornings. The mornings when she packed her stuff hastily and with an apologetic smile and a little kiss she disappeared again leaving him cold and lonely.

Then he wouldn’t hear from her for a few days, sometimes even a few weeks. And then she would be back again…

He grunted and flopped down on his back closing his eyes… “Oh whatever…” He mumbled still pretending to be offended by her words. Lisa propped herself up on her right elbow and watched him carefully with an amused expression.

“Don’t pout, you dork…” She chuckled and ran her index finger over his nose to his lips and chin down to his neck. He shivered but even that didn’t stop his fake butthurt act.

“Only if you take it back…” He said trying his best to hide the playfulness in his voice.

“I’m sorry but Mick Jagger is a better dancer.” She let out laughing, her hand now resting on his chest and he grabbed it and opened his eyes looking at her with a stunned expression.

“He dances like somebody who whizzed on an electric fence, Lisa!!”

She burst out laughing and he hugged her to him burying her face in his chest on purpose. “He’s spontaneous!” She mumbled still cracking up.

“Pffh, I’ll show you spontaneous!” Now he was laughing too. He released his grip on her and Lisa looked at him and gave him a soft peck on his lips.

He felt her staring at him and he stilled, his eyes meeting hers.

Oh, there it was. The inevitable ‘I have to go, Mike. It was great. I’ll call you, okay?’

How he hated it.

He waited for her to say her usual line but she was strangely quiet this time.

“Yes?” He said in a low voice after he saw her open her mouth a little, then close it again without letting out a single sound.

Her eyes widened and for a moment there Michael started worrying she might have had a stroke or something.

FAST – the mnemonic for stroke he had learned as a kid. Face… he narrowed his eyes and gave her face the once over before smiling to himself. Symmetrical and beautiful. Clearly no issues there. Arm … he proceeded to inspect her arm then, running his fingers up slowly and decided it looked just fine as well. Speech… well, there was the problem. For someone like Lisa who hardly ever managed to shut up, she was strangely quiet all of a sudden. Time… yes, time was not on their side. Ever.

The bottom line was that she seemed okay. No stroke there…

“I love you.” She blurted out and suddenly it was his turn to fall completely silent and look like a stroke victim.

What… did she… just… say? He must have misheard her.

His eyes widened in an utter shock.

There was no way she had said that. It was just a fling for her after all, wasn’t it? Must have been… she was married.

Oh damn, what was going on?                    

He was staring at her with his mouth agape like a moron and before he realized how much time had passed without any reaction from him whatsoever, she jumped up quickly and started running around, gathering her clothes scattered all over the room.

“Oh, forget it. I… I have to go! Sorry. I will… I’ll see myself out.”

She was putting on her bra looking around for her panties when he snapped back to reality and stood up so quickly he actually saw stars.

Michael steadied himself for a second before taking a few long strides over to where she was battling with the bra hooks and he grabbed her shoulders to keep her still.

She looked up into his eyes, her expression bewildered and almost frantic. And were those tears building up in her eyes?? Before he could find out, she blinked them away.

“You’re not leaving.” He said in a low voice and held her closer to him when she tried to break free.

“The hell I am! Let go off me!!” She snapped angrily but it would be a cold day in hell before he did what she was asking of him. His brain was still trying to process all the things that had just happened but he knew he had to act fast.

“Stop, Lisa! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

He was learning some valuable lessons there too, getting to know her MO and her insecurities. And his, for that matter.

She was about to object some more, wiggling and trying to make him release her but Michael pulled her closer and kissed her before she could say anything else. His lips gently touched hers, hoping the kiss could say at least some of the things he wasn’t able to at the moment.

When he felt Lisa wasn’t kissing him back, though, he pulled back eyeing her closely. There was an internal battle inside him, conflicting emotions clashing like thunder and lightning, and leaving chaos in their wake, but he really needed to have one side of him win …and fast.

“Say it again.” Michael whispered and she froze in his arms.

“W..what?” She said so softly he could barely hear her, her big, frightened eyes looking up at him.

“Say it again…” He demanded once more a second before his lips crashed against hers with powerful force.

This time she returned the kiss and the room filled up with their moans and sighs, all the pent-up tension reflected in the heat of the moment. His tongue forced its way into her hot mouth while he grabbed her head fisting his hands in her beautiful soft hair and he let out another deep moan.

A couple minutes later, when they were already out of breath, he felt her pull back and saw her shaking her head. “Let…let me go, Michael.” She half-whispered while taking in big gulps of air. “Please. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have come here at all.”

Okay, he had enough of all that horseshit now. He lifted her lithe body in his arms and took a few steps over to the couch where he sat down pulling her with him and having her now sitting in his lap. They were still naked and he reached over to grab a soft blanket thrown over the backrest.  He wrapped them both in it while he made sure she wouldn’t jump up and try running away from him again.

Then he grabbed her small face in his big palms and made her look at him.

“Say it again, Lisa.” He said softly but his voice was firm. “Please.”

She looked into his eyes and he already knew she could read in them like in a book. Had they been in a cartoon, there would have appeared a little lightbulb over her head and he immediately saw the expression in her face soften.

It took her another minute before she spoke up again.

“I… love you?” She asked and his grip tightened around her before he buried his face in the crook of her neck. She hugged him back and he felt her play with his hair and relaxed a little.

“Stay here tonight.” He mumbled and felt her nod.

“Okay.”

“Or forever…” He added.

“Thank you, no further questions.”

Tom sat down next to him and Michael knew it was cue for Sneddon to cross-examine her now. Without bothering to turn his head he saw that jerk’s silhouette in his peripheral vision as he stood up and buttoned up his jacket.

“Miss Presley, I only have a few questions.” He said and cleared his throat. “Starting with… after your divorce from Mr. Jackson, you spoke publicly multiple times about your marriage and called it, um, let me quote you here… ‘sketchy’ as well as ‘the biggest mistake of your life’. You also claimed you regretted having married him and having divorced your ex-husband, Mr. Keough. You called the defendant um… the jury will forgive me… you called him MF repeatedly. Yet here you are now asserting it was an absolutely normal marriage filled with love, cupcakes and rainbows.”

‘Stupid ass is trying to be funny, again.’ Michael thought, his blood boiling. He hated not being able to defend her from him, from the world, hated being so useless.

“Let me also remind you, Miss Presley, that you are under oath and perjury is a serious crime.” He finished triumphantly and even though Michael couldn’t see his face, he could tell the shitbag was smiling smugly.

“I …um…” Lisa started saying but had to clear her throat, which Sneddon used to jump in and put in yet another two cents nobody had asked for.

“So, was there even an iota of truth in anything you have said here so far?”

“Objection!” Tom said out loud and Michael looked up at the judge.

He seemed to weigh in his ruling. “Sustained.” The judge nodded and looked at Sneddon. “I would prefer a more professional approach on your part.”

Well, that would be a first. Those two had been buddy-buddy right from the get-go, treating Michael like two high school bullies, daily wielding their sharp blades, cutting through the fabric of his confidence and self-worth and leaving behind scars he knew may never fully heal.

“I apologize, Your Honor.” Sneddon said in a fake soft voice and continued. “Miss Presley, can you tell us which of your claims are true and which are not?”

“I…Um…actually..” She let out and Michael could hear the nervousness in her voice. She hated being front and center, there was nothing worse for her. Yet, she had done it for him so many times, this one being the hardest for sure.

He sighed but Tom leaned closer to him and whispered as if he could read his mind. “Don’t worry, Michael, she’s ready for all that.”

“I was very angry after the divorce.” She said, her voice gaining a more confident tone now.

“Hell has no fury like a woman scorned, I hear.” Sneddon remarked snidely and scoffed. “But the things you have said here today bare very little to almost no resemblance to those you had been releasing in the media during the last couple of years.”

“I was heartbroken. Michael and I have a very complicated history but I have never questioned my feelings for him.”

“You questioned his for you.” He quickly added. “Indicating he might have seen the marriage as a good PR move and nothing else.”

“I never…” She blurted but was stopped immediately.

“I have not asked any question, Miss Presley.” He said and paused. “Let me finish here.”

She nodded and stayed quiet, and Michael saw her tighten her lips into a narrow line. She was pissed now.

‘Oh, that makes two of us, Lise.’

“My assumptions can also be easily backed up by the lyrics of many of your songs, not just the dozens of interviews you have given over the last couple of years.” Now Michael could hear the eagerness in Sneddon’s voice, just elated to grill her some more.

He wanted to punch him. Break his nose. Smash his glasses into smithereens. Knock out his front teeth. Anything.

Wait, and had she really admitted being heartbroken?!

Even if, nobody had any right to pry into their history, their ups and downs, their rough patches or their trials and tribulations. He and Lisa had gone through so much and now the world was watching them as they had to rip off the band-aids and poke at their wounds all over again.

He saw Sneddon take out a piece of paper and adjust his, sadly still intact glasses.

“So… let’s take for example your song Disciple which openly talks about your relationship with the defendant. There is a line ‘Tell me, were you honing in on me because you considered I'd make a really good disciple?’”

“I…”

“I have not asked the question yet.”

‘Stupid piece of shit!’

God, how Michael wanted to grab his wrinkly neck and choke him. He would enjoy every second of it.

‘Stop it! Then they would just add another felony to the already long list.’

“While in the song S.O.B.” Sneddon chuckled covering it by clearing his throat, which earned him a couple of giggles in the courtroom. “You say ‘And you poisoned me with the fruits everyone was intrigued by’ and then, in the song Sinking In you ask ‘You just want to kick me once again, don't you?’ My question is… Miss Presley, was the defendant really such a good husband you were trying to convince the jury of earlier?”

Lisa paused and Michael couldn’t help but look down while pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

“Open the damn door or I’ll have firefighters break it down!”

He pressed his palm against his forehead and closed his eyes.

Why couldn’t she just leave him alone? Why did she always have to make everything so difficult? He thought he had made it clear. He was mad at her, not talking to her, not taking her calls. What was there she didn’t understand?!

“Dammit, I’m not playing, Michael!!”

He growled angrily and got up from his couch that had been his haven for longer than he was willing to admit. He walked slowly to the door while the non-stop banging threatened to make his head explode, and yanked it open.

“Can you calm the fuck down and not cause a scene, for God’s sake?!” He hissed at her, left the door open and turned shuffling slowly over to his home bar. He was in so much pain.

The moment he made it there, he opened one of the bottles of vodka and poured himself a large shot downing it immediately hoping to wash away all the suffering and unwanted feelings.

He heard her close the door and walk in the room, stopping probably about halfway through.

“Can I have some as well?” She asked in a low voice and he took a deep breath, his back still turned to her.

“There’s booze at Hidden Hills, at Neverland, and at every bar in this stupid city. I don’t understand why you took the trouble to come here when you could have gotten it literally anywhere else.” His voice was filled with anger and contempt and maybe, just maybe he wasn’t referring solely to the booze.

Lisa was just about the last person he was interested in seeing that night… excluding her atrocious mother and his own father.

You know what? Scratch that… He would actually love to see Joe instead of her. They could grab a couple of brewskis, watch some football, comment on the cup size of the cheerleaders… just a lovely father-son night.

Anything would be better than having his treacherous wife there at his Hideout where he was supposed to be safe from all the drama the outside world always seemed full of.

“We need to talk, Michael.” She said, her voice shaky and uncertain, and he heard her take off her jacket.

“Not interested. I’m busy tonight anyway.” He replied slowly and indifferently, words coming out slightly slurred.

“Yeah, drinking and popping pills. Sounds like a perfect Saturday night on Skid Row.” Lisa snarled angrily and walked over to him. She grabbed his shoulder hoping to make him turn around but he jerked away and took a few slow steps ahead before finally turning and looking at her from a safe distance.

His eyes were shooting daggers at her and he saw the color drain from her face a little before she took a step back.

“Don’t touch me, Lisa.” He growled and narrowed his eyes at her. “And stop treating me like some kind of a deranged junkie. I need the pills for my pain, got them legally from my doctor so extend me the courtesy and butt out for once!”

“Yeah, I bet my father used to say something similar to the people that cared about him.” She hissed at him and sized him up. “Mike, what the hell is going on with you?”

She shook her head slightly as if in disbelief before she turned away from him. He watched her walk over to his couch and take a pile of papers from it putting it on the floor. Then she sat down.

He wanted to yell at her to leave his stuff alone but stopped himself and opted for something else instead. He leaned against the bar and tilted his head.

“How was Hawaii?” Michael raised an eyebrow, waiting for some ludicrous lies he was sure she had prepared for him. Or at least he thought he did raise an eyebrow. His body wasn’t really listening to him that night.

“Like you care.” She snapped back and he laughed humorlessly.

“Oh I do, Lisa, I very much do. What about a souvenir, what do I get? A fridge magnet? Or an STD?”

“You son of a…” She managed to let out but he wasn’t done yet.

“Did Danny enjoy the trip? I bet he did. Swimming in the ocean, eating saimin and drinking Mai Tai while fucking my wife every night? And all of that paid for by the Presley Make-A-Wish Foundation! Who wouldn’t enjoy it?” He stumbled on some words and they came out almost unintelligible, which bugged him because he wanted her to hear every single one, nice and clear.

“Stop it, Michael! What the fuck is wrong with you?! I’ve never cheated on you!”

He scoffed and shook his head. Then he walked slowly to the coffee table pretty much ignoring her and searched through all the mess, pushing aside papers and food scraps until he found what he was looking for.

“Bingo…” He quipped and looked at the orange bottle closely.

“Demerol?! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Lisa jumped up standing right in front of him now. He saw her put her hands on her hips defiantly probably getting ready to chew him out but the whole performance left him completely unmoved.

“Leave it, Lisa. I don’t care what you think. Not anymore. And for what I can tell you, this thing makes me feel better than our marriage ever has.”

Now he was being mean just on purpose. But he really wanted her out. Out of his condo and probably out of his life as well. He had not decided on the latter just yet.

“Why do you have to act like this? Is this broken marriage all my fault and you’re just a poor victim?? Is that what you’re saying, Michael?” She was raising her voice with every single word she uttered and by the time she finished, he saw her jaw tremble.

For what he knew, yes… it was mostly her fault. He wanted kids. And she had assured him they would have them. Yet, there they were almost two years later, childless and ready to slay each other’s throat instead.

“Lisa, Lisa…” He said condescendingly and clicked his tongue at her. “Let me ask you this… do you remember that one crazy afternoon when we went horseback riding at Neverland, got caught in rain and rode back fast to the stables where you took off all your clothes for me and let me fuck you against the wall? Remember that?”

She raised her eyebrows and watched him carefully clearly unsure of why he was changing the subject all of a sudden.

“Or the weekend we spent here at Hideout when you flew back all the way from Graceland just because you missed me?” He cleared his throat and walked back to get himself another drink. There was no need to offer her one, she would be gone soon, he would make sure of that. 

Michael poured himself another large shot of vodka and looked at her furrowing his brow. “Do you remember who you were married to then?” He finished and his gaze lingered on her a little longer before he downed the shot, the liquid burning as it went down his throat.

Her mouth opened and closed and he could see tears building up in her eyes.

“You bastard!” She let out and took a step closer to him. “How dare you turn the tables on me now?! For what I know it takes two to tango, you jerk! You never had any problem fucking me knowing I was married!!”

He let out a jaded laugh and shook his head not bothering to respond at all.

“You never cared for me at all!! If you had, we wouldn’t be at this dead-end road now, Michael!” Now she was yelling. “All I did was love you and take care of you and what did I get in return? You fucking me over, icing me out, not taking my calls and being unavailable when I needed you the most. I hate you for messing up my life like that!”

He watched her outburst from distance and shook his head defeatedly again. “Calm down, Lisa.” He said in an excruciatingly tired voice. “We can’t fix this, not anymore. I wish you would just leave now.”

He took out the small orange bottle he had found on his coffee table earlier and popped a pill, dry swallowing it before looking at her again. “I’ll file for divorce tomorrow.”

 

Tom stood up making Michael snap back into reality again.

Yeah, that was the night they crashed and burned. Hurting each other so bad.

He remembered looking at her after saying those words and the memory of her face with tears streaming down her cheeks broke his heart.

Strangely enough it hadn’t back then. Back then he was done with her. Had enough of her shenanigans, their screaming matches, her unresolved issues with the ex-husband, her lies…

But he could still remember clearly how she had run to him crying, begging him not to file. To give her another chance. To give them another chance.

She hugged him and refused to let go, getting his shirt all wet from her tears and in the end he just sighed and caved. Said he wouldn’t. Promised they would try one more time.

Later that night he had gotten her a ride back home to Hidden Hills after they had agreed the smartest thing to do was to let each fighter get in their corner and simmer down.

He had been woken up the next day, late in the afternoon, by a phone call. His head was pounding so much he barely understood what his lawyer was telling him.

Lisa had filed for divorce.

He remembered how angry he had been, so convinced that everything was Lisa’s fault.

But now, for some strange reason, he suddenly saw things differently and the truth hit him hard.

No, he hadn't made it easy for either of them and realizing how much he must have hurt her felt like a punch to the gut.

“Miss Presley, just a couple more questions.” Tom said and looked into one of his files placed in front of him.

“Of course.”

“During your marriage to Mr. Jackson, did you ever witness any suspicious conduct towards young children?”

Michael was looking at her now and saw her shaking her head immediately.

“Absolutely not.” She said and Tom nodded.

“Did you ever feel like you should be more careful leaving your two young children with your then husband?”

“Absolutely not.” She said again, her voice firm and confident. Michael smiled almost imperceptibly. “He never did anything that would make me think my children would be in any danger around him. He was an amazing stepfather to them.”

Michael’s smile got broader and he looked down to hide it.

No emotions in the courtroom. None.

“Thank you, Miss Presley, that would be all.”

Lisa nodded and took her glass finishing her water while Sneddon only gave a dismissive wave showing he didn’t want to cross-examine her anymore.

Michael felt relieved. Not for himself but for her. She could go home now, get out of this polluted place filled with lies and hatred.

She stood up and this time he didn’t even try looking away from her. He wanted to see her, needed to take her all in. She started making her way out of the courtroom and he finally saw the simple yet beautiful knee-length black dress and ankle strap high heel shoes she was wearing, her legs toned and just gorgeous.

‘No emotions and no drooling either, Michael.’ He had to remind himself.

She walked past him and his legal team but didn’t  look at him, yet he caught a glimpse of her smile and a nod directed at someone behind him.

Mother.

Lisa and her had always been chummy.

He took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

The moment the door closed behind her, the judge started explaining what was going to happen in the next couple of days.

Soon closing arguments would follow and then the verdict.

Jail or freedom.

Thirty minutes or so later the judge left the room and Michael stood up, shoving the pink post-it in his pocket. His ladybugs deserved better environment than the god-awful courthouse.

He had no idea what the future would hold for him but for now it was time to go home and play Uno.